Agh. I’m.gonna write a song with the chorus really cute and one of the lines will be “You make my heart go doki doki” it’ll be soo cute. And everyone will love it. Anyone wanna help? It’d be fun :) I’m thinking piano, and guitar or something. Just cute, you know :) if I do piano, I’m going to request help of fantastic people *cough cough Celeste and Rio cough cough*

Awk. That’s all I’ve gotta say.. well, mostly. Especially since my crush, my close friend and my “wants to be my boyfriend but I don’t want him to be” friend were all there at the same time…………. Awk. Close friend felt awk. The complicated friend seemed pissed and my crush was himself as usual. Oh and my ex boyfriend and my complicated friend danced together like a gay couple. Three words:what a turnoff. Really. I’m usually extremely impulsive and will do anything I feel like and so when I was saying bye to my crush, I almost kissed him but stopped. I know he likes me back and all but I like how we are now… For now anyways. Ah. Kay, done ranting. I’m in love. I’m gonna have dreams now so goodnight.

I think I’m in love. For real this time. Not just me. Him too. God, I pray its him. If not, then I need a sign real quick, cause I’be fallen pretty hard for this one.

So I think I totally messed up the marching and command parts but I beasted the talking part and made them laugh cause I took two adults phones and told them to be quiet and they listened and got smiles because of confident responses. Overall, I think I did pretty good.

I am loved by the people I don’t have much care for, yet hated by the people I love with all my heart. All because of the mistakes I’ve made.

I need a date for prom. I’m all lame and prom-dateless. I want a certain someone to ask me but idk. It’s not my twin cause that would be weird :I …. It might be too awk. :I but maybe not… Idk. I want some other special guy to ask me. It probs won’t be as awk as I feel it may be… Just like formal. Ahhhhhhhhhh… Just awk-prom-dateless me complaining. :I ah well.

Why is it that every damn girl that walks into his life suddenly becomes temporarily more important than me, his best friend/twin who knows him better than most people know themselves? I mean seriously, I’ve been there for him through thick and thin and he’s done the same for me but sometimes I feel second best. I don’t like this feeling. I don’t care who you are, I am his best friend and nobody will ever take that place. A girlfriend is temporary. A best friend is permanent. So why do I feel threatened? Why do I feel jealous when other girls walk into his life? Why do I feel like he’s slowly forgetting about me each and every day? I shouldn’t feel this way. But I do. And I want that girl to disappear. I’m sorry I’m so terrible but he’s all I have left. I can’t lose him. He’s the only one who simply tries to cheer me up when I’m down. Doesn’t ask why or how. Just makes me happy. He gives me flowers every time I visit him. He doesn’t give flowers to other girls… But I still feel second best… I guess I always will… But that’s what I get I suppose… After all, I am just his best friend… I guess its wrong for me to love him more than anyone… Oh well… Maybe I’ll die before my heart breaks again…

I hate my sister. I’m done. She can rot in hell for all I care. She deserves it. I am finished with all her fucking crap. Along with that asshole. They can both rot in hell. Fuck bitches and assholes. Fuck Fuck Fuck.

So I know I constantly post about guys, but that’s the exciting parts of my day. Anyway, I’m wondering if this has only ever happened to me:

I’m trying to help my guy friend get my gal pal to like him right? So I’m texting him this evening and he’s consoling me about dick head ex boyfriend. Then he tells me that if he and I were together, he wouldn’t ever force me into stuff. Then I say thanks and let him know that I’ll be in the shower for a few. Then he tells me he wants to join me. I brush it off and say lol after my shower. Then I let him know I’m going to bed so goodnight. And then he tells me he wishes he were with me right now and says goodnight……….. ……. … Uhh, guys? I’m totally lost. If this makes sense to anyone else, lemme know, kay? Anyways, goodnight, sweet dreams and love you all. :) <3 (: